A few years ago, when asked to list the characteristics of the most effective managers, I opined on topics such as vision, communication, execution, and strategy. Today, when asked the same question, I say there’s only one skill that tops the list: Empathy.
All the traditional leadership acumen in the world will only get you so far in the modern workplace if you lack empathy—the ability to understand and relate to the feelings of others. And as such, today’s best managers employ specific phrases that convey empathy and foster greater trust, communication, and collaboration with their team members.
1. “How are you doing?” This may sound like a basic question, but empathetic managers genuinely care about the well-being of their team members beyond work-related matters. By asking this question regularly—and digging below typical “I’m fine” responses—they create a space for employees to share their joys, concerns, and challenges with someone who cares. This phrase not only generates trust but demonstrates that the manager values the person as an individual.
2. “I understand.” Empathy stems from the ability to comprehend and relate to another’s emotions. Empathetic managers validate their team members’ experiences by acknowledging their feelings. This simple phrase shows that the manager recognizes the significance of their emotions, fostering a sense of belonging and understanding.
3. “What can I do to support you?” Empathetic managers go the extra mile to remove obstacles and offer support to their employees. This phrase conveys a proactive stance, demonstrating the manager’s willingness to assist in overcoming challenges or providing assistance or resources. Empathetic managers ensure they are empowering their team members to perform at their best.
4. “I am grateful for your work.” Recognizing the hard work of team members is crucial for fostering employee motivation and job satisfaction. Empathetic managers understand the importance of expressing gratitude for their team members’ contributions. This phrase reinforces an individual’s value within the team, and when followed by specifics of what exactly the manager is grateful for shows the person how they are helping move the team toward important goals.
5. “I trust your judgment.” Empathy involves recognizing the competence and expertise of team members. The best managers trust their employees’ decision-making abilities and provide them with autonomy to get the job done. This phrase affirms their confidence in a person’s skills and empowers them to take ownership of their work.
6. “Where do you want to go in your career?” Effective managers take an active interest in the professional growth of their team members. By regularly asking about career aspirations, they show support for employees’ long-term goals and ambitions. This phrase opens up opportunities for mentorship and guidance, encouraging employees to develop their skills and reach their full potential.
7. “Let’s find a solution together.” Empathetic managers understand that problem-solving is a collaborative effort. This phrase emphasizes teamwork and mutual support, creating a safe space for open communication and innovation. By involving team members in seeking out improvement efforts, managers foster a sense of ownership.
In employee engagement surveys I’ve conducted (as well as those from other researchers), empathy has become a cornerstone of effective leadership. Empathetic managers understand the power of words and use specific phrases to build strong relationships, foster greater trust, and motivate their teams. Empathy, coupled with other strong leadership skills, helps move leaders toward success while nurturing the well-being and growth of individuals in their care.
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