8 Ways To Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

“To be truly resilient in the face of adversity, you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.” — Mathew Lehnig

This article is co-authored with my long-time friend, teammate and colleague Mathew Lehnig, VP of Programs at Taking Point Leadership, and written from his perspective.

All of us experience varying levels of adversity throughout our entire lives. This is the reality of human existence. Some obstacles are unforeseen and some inevitable roadblocks on the path to mastery.

Regardless, when we experience uncomfortable situations, the common tendency is to react with various negative emotions. We can easily become overwhelmed when faced with situations unfamiliar to us. I know this all too well having spent thirty years as a senior leader in Naval Special Warfare, including many years running advanced training commands. We design scenarios that push even the most capable to their breaking point. Hence the phrase, get comfortable being uncomfortable.

But gaining experience and knowledge, learning from our mistakes, and accepting discomfort as the norm will make things in our lives and at work more tolerable. Additionally, uncomfortable situations and experiences are required to grow, develop, and thrive mentally and physically during adversity.

I have found that we build resiliency and increased tolerance to uncomfortable situations by consistently – and intentionally – facing new obstacles, internal and external difficulties, and situations where things are unfamiliar, unpredictable, and different from what we are used to. During my time in the SEAL Teams, there were many days and nights when I was extremely uncomfortable; however, realizing that I needed to face these extreme situations head-on made me mentally and physically stronger than I once was. This mental mind shift helped me develop, sustain, and supersede any uncomfortable situation I faced throughout my career from both a personal and professional standpoint.

As leaders at any level, it is the burden of command to face sometimes constant discomfort. Difficult conversations. Tough decisions. Sacrificing for the team. Stress and anxiety. Finding courage when we feel depleted. The list goes on. We all need to develop a resilient mindset and understand that uncomfortable situations are going to occur. To lean in.

We also need to embrace these situations to ensure that we continue to grow as leaders to better enable our teams to thrive during times of change. Or, as we say in the SEAL Teams, embrace the suck!

Here are 8 ways to “Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable” in unfamiliar, unpredictable, and uncertain situations that will help make you a better leader in business and in life.

1. Embrace the Unknown: Do not run away from discomfort; Instead, embrace it, be courageous, and acknowledge that fear is a natural human reaction that needs to be mastered.
2. Communicate: During times of uncertainty – communicate, communicate, communicate! Tell your team what they need to hear; ensure the information is clear, concise, and consistent. Frequent messaging reduces fear, anxiety, and uncertainty by 30%. Transparency is the path to building trust.
3. Know your Purpose: A sense of purpose can help you dig deep during life’s challenges. Instead of being discouraged by internal and external situations with a defined purpose, you’ll be more motivated to learn from past experiences and attack new ones head-on. Purpose provide you and your team the appropriate emotional connection to the mission.
4. Develop a Growth Mindset: Leaders with a growth mindset see challenges and obstacles as a necessary part of their path to mastery. Flexibility is an essential part of a growth mindset. By learning to be more flexible, you’ll be better equipped to respond to change. While abrupt changes may crush some people, those that embrace a growth mindset are able to adapt and thrive in uncomfortable situations.
5. Master your Emotions (EQ): It’s okay to take a tactical pause; take the time to slow down, recognize what we are feeling, and why we act in specific ways during times of uncertainty. This pause can also help us better understand our emotions, quickly dissect information, and make rational decisions under pressure. Self-awareness enhances situational awareness, both of which are critical for making sound decisions.
6. Learn from your Mistakes: Humility and appropriate levels of vulnerability are also critical elements to giving and receiving trust. When a mistake is made, own it! It takes courage to own up to our shortcomings, but it builds instant credibility. Analyze the mistake honestly and objectively, debrief, discuss the lessons learned, put the lessons into practice. And continue to move the needle forward. A culture of continuous improvement is a key attribute of high-performing leaders and teams.
7. Build Resilience:​​ Every time you challenge yourself, you build resilience through continuous improvement and repetition. These continuous challenges will cause your brain to find solutions where you have succeeded in the past without thinking.
8. Adapt and Move Forward: Flexibility is an essential part of adaptability. By learning to be more flexible, you’ll be better equipped to respond quickly when faced with uncomfortable situations. Adaptable people utilize learning moments as an opportunity to grow, move forward, and thrive during times of adversity.

Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable takes time. One methodology I have always found extremely impactful is experiential learning. This learning process complements the 8 tips stated above by allowing employees to apply them to enhance their skills in hands-on, real-world situations. It is one of the best ways to grow, develop, and become a genuinely exceptional leader with the necessary skills to lead your team through any uncomfortable situation.

Share these tips with your team and discuss how they can be applied to developing high-performance teams in your organization!

Mathe Lehnig is the VP of Programs at Taking Point Leadership, former Navy SEAL Officer & Combat Proven Veteran, and an expert in leadership development, organizational transformation, and building high-performance teams. TakingPoint Leadership is a progressive Change Leadership management consulting firm focused on building alignment, accountability, resilience, and adaptability in every organization we partner with.