Being a working parent in America, the only developed nation globally without a federal paid parental leave policy, and where the cost of childcare can consume a single paycheck, is challenging no matter one’s gender or line of work.
For women in entertainment — an industry where the hours are grueling and unpredictable and travel to faraway locations is the norm — the conflict between work and family can be particularly brutal.
According to the Writers Guild of America West, women are still underrepresented in TV writers’ rooms, constituting 24% of showrunners and 36% of writers in the 2017-18 season. It doesn’t help that women in various roles in the business — from writers, actors, and directors to crew members — say they’ve faced significant challenges, skepticism, and even outright hostility as mothers. As a result, some, including a Netflix employee who recently alleged she was fired after becoming pregnant, have taken legal action.
Two actresses walking the fine line between motherhood and a career in Hollywood as well as personal projects are Ana Gasteyer, a Saturday Night Live alumna, a recurring character on ABC’s The Goldbergs, who is currently on NBC’s American Auto, and Amanda Seyfried, who has starred in such hits as Mean Girls, Mamma Mia! and The Dropout.
Each actress has two children and works hard to balance and enjoy the many professional and personal roles they play.
A Working Mothers Identity
In the 2020 State of Motherhood survey by Motherly, around 71% of moms report being “most strongly defined” by their motherhood. Among moms under 30 with young children, that bumps up to 78%. And those who are not in the workforce—87%—are more likely to feel this way.
“Being a mother or a parent changes the whole structure of your life in a way that simplifies what’s important and grounds you in the now,” shared Ms. Seyfried. “How I spend my time, communicate, and relate to the world is filtered through what I feel would benefit my children.”
A recent study from 2023 showed that 78% of working mothers say their jobs give them a sense of identity in addition to being a parent. 78% of it’s their jobs give them a sense of identity.
In speaking with Ms. Gasteyer, she feels questions about women’s value linked to their profession or children can be limiting.
“My work is hugely important to me: it is integral to my identity, and I feel privileged to do it. My children, though, are also the most important thing in my life,” Gasteyer said. “Both obligations are huge responsibilities.”
Given that working mothers clock an average of 98 hours per work, roughly equivalent to 2.5 full-time jobs, Gasteyer feels that it’s a matter of creating boundaries so that women can meet each obligation with joy and purpose.
“This is an ongoing discussion, she adds. “And it centers on the idea of household/childcare work distribution and gender equity versus asking mothers to figure out how to balance it all.”
How Motherhood Can Inspire Other Ventures
Motherhood is just as daring and strenuous an adventure as entrepreneurship, so it makes sense that motherhood could prepare you for a career in entrepreneurship or new endeavors in general.
“According to my husband, who has an MBA, most successful entrepreneurs have failed royally at least once on their path,” shared Gasteyer. “I would say that the same thing is true of kids. Their mistakes and missteps develop character and resilience.”
In addition, a woman’s brain undergoes cognitive, emotional, and behavioral flexibility when becoming a mother. These changes help them adapt to new environments and simultaneously allow them to think outside the box. Thus, these unique problem-solving approaches can make a mother even better at whatever business she decides to tackle, including becoming an entrepreneur.
Science has also proven how motherhood affects creativity and resourceful thinking, so it would make sense that they may be inspired to pursue other projects outside their usual scope.
In Ms. Seyfried’s case, it is Make It Cute. Make it Cute is a sustainable children’s brand founded by childhood best friends and mothers Amanda Seyfried, Anne Hoehn, and Maureen North. The company is based on using responsible materials, performing philanthropy through business, and reinventing a forever favorite children’s toy–the indoor playhouse.
“When you become a parent, you immediately get dropped back into this whole other world of possibility and imagination,” said Seyfried. “It’s exciting but slightly stressful because you become the purveyor of how your children experience their surroundings. We become teachers while also re-experiencing the joys of childhood from this new angle, and we get to help ignite their imaginations in an empowering way. This constantly inspires my girlfriends and me, and it became clear that our ideas and their desires can continue to be fused into products we can all benefit from.”
As for Ms. Gasteyer, she recently collaborated with Kelley Blue Book to discuss what one might look for in a family car – whether it is enough trunk space, secret compartments to hide snacks, etc.
“Partnering with Kelley Blue Book to announce the Best Family Cars of 2023 was perfectly timed as my family had just moved from NYC to LA to film American Auto, and joining a car culture was a huge adjustment,” explained Gasteyer. “I was particularly focused on finding the best fuel-efficient car with high safety standards. I also used Kelley Blue Book to help understand what to do with an older car we’d recently inherited and that my college-aged daughter will drive.”
Balancing It All
However you define yourself and whatever projects or pursuits you take on, self-care is always essential.
Family therapist Tracy Ross, LCSW, points out that putting the proverbial oxygen mask on yourself first isn’t self-indulgent or a guilty pleasure.
“Taking time for yourself is an important part of preparing to be a working mom involving multiple demanding roles,” Ross advises. “Most moms can bring their best selves to their work and family if they also make time for self-care.”
Gasteyer agrees and suggests it’s best to pick your battles wisely.
“I don’t lose much sleep over my kids’ food or fashion choices,” she said. “I assume they will learn to self-regulate, which has worked so far. And speaking of sleep, make sure it’s a priority. The better rested I am, the better equipped I am to handle the chaos.”
Ms. Seyfried explained that she is constantly re-evaluating how she is spending her time to prevent driving on auto-pilot. “We do have to schedule time for solitude to ensure we keep our hearts and minds healthy. The kids benefit almost as much as we do when we thrive.”
It would also be remiss not to point out that however working mothers manage their time, mental health, career, and beyond, our children are watching, so setting a good example can be powerful.
“I decided to do American Auto partly because I wanted to play a female CEO for my daughter,” Ms. Gasteyer disclosed. “I was also proud to work on a tonal show in the wheelhouse of what my son watches. I knew I was on a show I could be proud of.”
Read the full article here
