Nearly half of the results at a company are tied directly to the CEO’s actions and decisions, and when the top leader connects and communicates regularly, employee attrition rates can be 31% lower.
What do we do when we know we are being watched? Our playbook of responses may have been set during childhood. In fact, knowing (or suspecting) that we are under observation can kick us back to a good or bad early memory. And the drama begins.
Attention puts us in the spotlight. We think we know why people are looking; it’s happened before. We keep a repertoire of responses and may dive into one of our scripts. We may withdraw or hunker down. Our responses hardly ever have anything to do with the people observing us. One thing is certain: leaders can’t choose any of the above.
Leadership thrusts us into the spotlight. And that may be one good reason to avoid it. Scrutiny stings. The emotional nimbleness is a challenge. Leaders are obligated to embody the sensitivity of an intuitive idea person in conjunction with the outgoing, social nature of an extroverted party hopper. It was in the ad’s fine print. Leaders are not allowed to be invisible, so get used to the stares.
Under the glare of attention, many wish for powers of invisibility. Find out why your people are focused on you. You’re likely mistaken about why.
People commonly miscalculate why others are paying attention to them. Since disappearing and ghosting are not options, here are two leaderlike things you can do when attention is turned on you:
1. Find out why and adjust your decisions and actions as needed.
2. Ask why and respond if necessary.
You can find out how your people see you and what they are saying by asking or listening. You can jump into the latter and skip the asking. People are already in dialogue and discussion about their leaders. Much of what you hear will begin to shape the extent of your importance in the work lives of the people who are looking at you and talking.
Those who are paying attention to you aren’t prepping their barbs. They are more likely just trying to see you better. They are tuning into your words and mannerisms not as a precursor to attack. They want to make sure they are clear about your communication. They are trying to become better at reading and understanding you. If they can become competent, proficient, and expert at you, they can improve their ability to execute your requests. They become better at serving the company and your leadership improves as a result.
If you ask about the attention to you, you will find out how your people regard you, why they look to you, and what they need. Predominantly, they need information. Not juicy, compromising personal tidbits. And they are not looking for information they can get from HR or glean from elsewhere in the organization. They look to you for input they can use to model your behavior and better follow through on your decisions. Much of what your people want when they are looking at you is about them, not you.
In addition to the flow of information from you to them, people also want to offer information. This is one cause of their attention to you. Your willingness to receive it can shape and support the employee’s sense of importance in the organization. It can boost morale and create beneficial psychological safety in the workplace. Receiving their information can also create instances of transformative insight or contributions to the company.
When your people look at you or focus their talk and attention on you, assume the best. You have access to an opportunity and a win.
If you look for the evidence, you will find that your people have connected your success to the success of the company, and thereby, their own fortunes. Taking care of you takes care of the business and takes care of them. When your people are staring and trying to “get” you, the something they are trying to get is tied to wellbeing at the leadership level. Looking out for the leader is natural. Lifting the leader lifts the organization.
You are not under siege when they are observing you. Your people are not the invasive press. But if you shut them out, you create an information blackout.
If no one from a given layer, area, or group at a business has ever communicated directly with the leader, much of their data about that leader may be flawed or false. Leaders may curtail access for logistical, emotional, strategic, legal, or other reasons. They can be adhering to old ideas about distance and fraternizing.
Under that model, rumors fly, and perceptions break down. The leader may be seen and understood only by the most adjacent top layers of the business. Without familiarity and understanding, the leader may be alien and suspicious to most of the workforce. Then, the organization is not as fully wired as it can be. Decisions can lose continuity. Plans may stall at certain points across the business.
If you are not up to something nefarious, your people are looking at you for good reasons. They want to learn from you. They have something to share. They are looking to learn you or to model your behavior. The leader’s wellbeing reflects down the organization. What your people want out of the business and out of their careers at the company is tied to you. Just as likely, maybe you looked good that day. Your people are looking, and how you respond tells them about you and your leadership.
1. Assume the best when you find that your people are looking at you; remember, looking at you is often the same as looking to you.
2. Avoid any defensive stance when people begin to look and talk; find out what your people want or need and take time to respond fully.
3. Letting your people see you lets them learn significant social, intellectual, and other leadership details that make them better at carrying out your decisions and strengthening the company.
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